Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Liberals... you do not know everything

This poll from cnn.com infuriated me, and I had to write a short rant as a 1:45am physio study break.

Do you agree with the top U.S. military commander in Iraq that things are better than before the surge?
Yes 42% 74331
No 58% 101953
Total Votes: 176284

YOU DO NOT KNOW MORE ABOUT IRAQ THAN THE GENERAL IN CHARGE OF US FORCES! Shut up you douchebags. Wanting something (even failure of your own military... for reasons I cannot possibly fathom) does not make it true.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

My Favorite 10 Songs

10. Livin' on a Prayer
- Bon Jovi

9. Alive
- Pearl Jam

8. Zero
- Smashing Pumpkins

7. While My Guitar Gently Weeps
- The Beatles (+ Eric Clapton)

6. Wish You Were Here
- Pink Floyd

5. Baba O'Riley
- The Who

4. Like a Rolling Stone
- Bob Dylan

3. Heart of Gold
- Neil Young

2. Stairway to Heaven
- Led Zeppelin

1. Sympathy for the Devil
- The Rolling Stones

Saturday, March 8, 2008

My 10 Favorite Movie Quotes

10. Peter Gibbons: It's not just about me and my dream of doing nothing. It's about all of us. I don't know what happened to me at that hypnotherapist and, I don't know, maybe it was just shock and it's wearing off now, but when I saw that fat man keel over and die - Michael, we don't have a lot of time on this earth! We weren't meant to spend it this way. Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements.
Michael Bolton: I told those fudge-packers I liked Michael Bolton's music.
Peter Gibbons: Oh. That is not right, Michael.

- Office Space

9. John Doe: Innocent? Is that supposed to be funny? ... Only in a world this shitty could you even try to say these were innocent people and keep a straight face. But that's the point. We see a deadly sin on every street corner, in every home, and we tolerate it. We tolerate it because it's common, it's trivial. We tolerate it morning, noon, and night. Well, not anymore. I'm setting the example. What I've done is going to be puzzled over and studied and followed... forever.

- Se7en

8. Dr. Egon Spengler: There's something very important I forgot to tell you.
Dr. Peter Venkman: What?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Don't cross the streams.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Why?
Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, "bad"?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Dr Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Right. That's bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.

-Ghostbusters

7. Dr. Emmett Brown: If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits eighty-eight miles per hour... you're gonna see some serious shit.

- Back to the Future

6. Colonel Vogel: Tell me about this miserable little diary of yours. The book is useless and yet you come all the way back to Berlin to get it. Why?
[he slaps Henry in the face with his glove]
Colonel Vogel: Why?
[he slaps him again]
Colonel Vogel: What are you hiding?
[he slaps him again]
Colonel Vogel: What does the diary tell you that it doesn't tell us?
[he tries to slap him again; Henry grabs his wrist, stopping him]
Professor Henry Jones: [through his teeth] It tells me, that goose-stepping morons like yourself should try *reading* books instead of *burning* them!

- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

5. Taggart: I got it. I got it.
Hedley Lamarr: You do?
Taggart: We'll work up a "Number 6" on 'em.
Hedley Lamarr: "Number 6"? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one...
Taggart: Well, that's where we go a-ridin' into town, a whampin' and whompin' every livin' thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course.
Hedley Lamarr: You spare the women?
Taggart: NAW. We rape the shit out of them at the Number 6 Dance later on.
Hedley Lamarr: Marvelous.

- Blazing Saddles

4. Darth Vader: You cannot hide forever, Luke.
Luke: I will not fight you.
Darth Vader: Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for... sister. So, you have a twin sister. Your feelings have now betrayed her, too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the Dark Side... then perhaps she will...
Luke: [igniting light saber, screams] NO!

- Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi

3. [after Lloyd trades the van in for a moped]
Harry: Just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber, you go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!

- Dumb and Dumber

2. Cartman: Don't call me fat, you fucking Jew!
Mr. Garrison: Eric, did you just say the F-word?
Cartman: Jew?
Kyle: No, he's talking about "fuck". You can't say "fuck" in school, you fucking fat ass!
Mr. Garrison: Kyle!
Cartman: Why the fuck not?
Mr. Garrison: Eric!
Stan: Dude, you just said "fuck" again!
Mr. Garrison: Stanley!
Kenny: Fuck!
Mr. Garrison: Kenny!
Cartman: What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody. Fuck-fuckety-fuck-fuck-fuck.
Mr. Garrison: How would you like to go see the school counselor?
Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls?
Mr. Garrison: What did you say?
Cartman: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was...
[picks up a megaphone]
Cartman: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR. GARRISON?
Stan: Holy shit, dude.

- South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut

1. Andy Dufresne: That's the beauty of music. They can't get that from you... Haven't you ever felt that way about music?
Red: I played a mean harmonica as a younger man. Lost interest in it though. Didn't make much sense in here.
Andy Dufresne: Here's where it makes the most sense. You need it so you don't forget.
Red: Forget?
Andy Dufresne: Forget that... there are places in this world that aren't made out of stone. That there's something inside... that they can't get to, that they can't touch. That's yours.
Red: What're you talking about?
Andy Dufresne: Hope.

- The Shawshank Redemption

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Oh Blink 182, What Other Wisdoms Can You Share?


I took her out it was a Friday night
I wore cologne to get the feeling right
We started making out and she took off my pants
But then I turned on the TV

And that's about the time that she walked away from me
Nobody likes you when you're 23
And are still more amused by TV shows
What the hell is ADD?
My friends say I should act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?

Then later on, on the drive home
I called her mom from a pay phone
I said I was the cops
And your husband's in jail
This state looks down on sodomy

And that's about the time that bitch hung up on me
Nobody likes you when your 23
And are still more amused by prank phone calls
What the hell is caller ID?
My friends say I should act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?

And that's about the time she walked away from me
Nobody likes you when your 23
And you still act like you're in Freshman year
What the hell is wrong with me?
My friends say I should act my age
What's my age again?

That's about the time that she broke up with me
No one should take themselves so seriously
With many years ahead to fall in line
Why would you wish that on me?
I never want to act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

10 Great Quotes

Notice that the title is not the "Best Quotes" or even my "favorite" quotes. Why is this? There's a great possibility that I have missed or forgotten a great quote. That's where you, beloved reader, come into the equation. Make this interactive... give me some of your favorite quotes.

10.
"Those who deny freedom to others, deserve it not for themselves; and, under a just God, can not long retain it."
- Abraham Lincoln

9. "Knowledge is power."
- Francis Bacon

8. "I haven't failed. I have found 10,000 ways that won't work."
- Thomas Edison, on his experiments to achieve a feasible electric lamp (light bulb).

7. "Power Corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely."
- Lord Acton

6.
"Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired."
- Mother Teresa

5. "I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me according to your word."
- Mary, mother of Christ, after the Annunciation.

4. "For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief."
- Solomon

3. "Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose, Nothing ... don't mean nothing honey if it ain't free."
- Janis Joplin, Me and Bobby McGee (Yes, I am aware that Kris Kristofferson wrote the song, however:
A. Joplin slightly changed this line, and I like it better this way
B. It sounds so much better when Janis sings it.)

2. "Those who do not listen, must feel."
- My paternal grandfather (though I'm willing to admit that he probably was not the first to say it).

1. " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
- Jesus, replying to a question asking which Commandment is the greatest.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

10 Ways to Prevent Studying for Physiology

10. Listen to Elton John's 1973 Classic "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road."

9. Clean your apartment.

8. Work out at the Y, attempt a 10th rep on bench press even though you nearly passed out during the 9th.

7. Try your hardest not to stare at girls at the Y... fail miserably.

6. Try your hardest not to think about girls at the Y while in the shower... fail again.

5. Contemplate the plastic-love that is valentine's day.

4. Realize that in 15 days you will be 23. Play "What's my age again," by Blink 182.

3. Daydream about learning how to play an instrument (the guitar, piano, drums... maybe all of them).

2. Combat fascism... even if there's nothing at stake.

1. Post on your blog.