Ode to my car

(drum intro)
1991 Acura Integra -- bare bones
I loved you from first sight
I bought you with student loans
And now you share my plight

Your power-steering goes in & out
You have a huge dent from some jerk
Your lack of a radio antenna makes me shout
To get you up to 60 mph takes a lot of work

Your AC sounds like a dying darth vader
But at least it keeps me cool
One who doesn't love you is just a hater
You're so unfit for highways I can only take you to school

(guitar solo)

We made the 10 hour drive from Ohio
Your poor lumbar support made me cry
You've been so good, thats no lie-o
I'll hate to watch you die

(tambourine shakes)
You'll Die, I'll Cry
You'll Die, You tried
You'll Die, I'll sigh
You'll Die, Goodbye
(repeat and fade out)

There's no crying in football!

If you want to engage in an exercise in futility, I suggest you attempt to be the coach of a girl's powderpuff football team. The M1/Medical Masters girls are playing the M2 girl in a powderpuff football game sometime in late September/early October. We had about 10-12 guys show up in an effort to coach 25-30 girls. I was the only guy who had any actual football experience, and most of the girls didn't understand basic fundamental concepts of football (i.e. a forward pass, who the quarterback is, what the line of scrimmage is, etc.).
Now, come on. I know you have to have seen at least a portion of a football game before. Surely your high school had a football team, you must have went to a game?
I did my best, but it was pretty similar to coaching 6 year olds amped up on sugar. Don't get me wrong, the girls were good sports about it, and I think we all had fun. But it wasn't exactly productive, and I really want to win this game.
I'm too competitive aren't I?

I'd like to comment on the Michael Vick situation while we're on the subject of disgraced footballers.

In case you have been living under a rock for the past 3 months, with your eyes closed tight, and your fingers in your ears -- you can look up the background to the situation here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bad_Newz_Kennels_dog_fighting_investigation

Okay, Vick is a scumbag, and this is a despicable thing. However -- Vick and his brother were both scumbags long before this broke. They're not good people, anyone with any judge of character should have known this for years.
On top of that -- this is dogs that are being killed/maimed/whatever. Now look, I like dogs, but people are taking this way, way too far. Killing dogs just for fun is wrong, but there are much, much worse things that a person could do. It's only because we have decided that we like dogs that anybody cares about them getting killed.
If you don't believe me, think about this: there are certain animals which, should I see them, I go out of my way to kill. So do you. We all kill cockroaches, spiders, ants, etc. with every chance we get. You could make the argument that a dog is a higher-order animal, and therefore has certain senses (pain, emotions, etc.) that these lower-order animals do not have. That's probably true, but:
a) does that entitle dogs, but not insects and arachnids to certain dignities? Why is that true? Isn't that a pretty arbitrary set of rules to play by?
b) we sanction the killing of animals at least as intelligent as dogs everyday with hunting licenses. Please - don't misunderstand this and think that I am against hunting. But hunting is the intentional killing of animals for fun.
We've just decided that because we like dogs, killing them makes a person inhumane and despicable.
Celebrities get away with much, much worse everyday (something that causes harm to human beings for example) with a much lower penalty. Take Ray Lewis, for example. An NFL player, of the same fame and skill level as Michael Vick. Ray Lewis was proven, in a court of law, to have lied to police who were investigating the murder of a person. Lewis did this in an attempt to protect a guilty friend. Ray Lewis was therefore an accessory to murder, and by definition a conspirator of murder.
Lewis served no jail time, and I don't believe he missed an NFL game.
Again, don't get me wrong, I like dogs. But where the hell have our priorities gone?

Do you like apples?

Well, I got her number -- how do you like dem apples?

I came home from class today (~noon) and my internet did not work. Not shocking, since every cable internet provider I've had has spotty service. I also noticed that my cable tv was out though. On a whim, I decided to check on my outside connection. The box was ripped open, and my cable was cut.
Interesting.
Following the now cut cable back to it's source led me to my cable output ... which had a note on it.
More interesting.
Reading the note provided me with the info that my landlord had intentionally cut my cable, because he didn't like the way it was hooked up. Are you kidding me?
Long story short I have cable and internet 7 hours later, and my landlord was billed for the technician's time and service. Joke's on you, buttpipe.

On another note, medical school (even my slightly easier version) is not easy. Shocking, I know.

If we weren't all crazy, we would go insane.

Gotta love family problems. They're especially fun when your family has been ripped apart by divorce. Apparently, my parents must act like 6 year olds who are fighting whenever they are involved in the same thing. Because of this, my brother and I have been forced to involve the both of them in only life's most important events. My brother's wedding being a fairly important event, they are both invited -- his mistake. He's the one who has to bear the brunt of the unpleasant force, but I've also been dragged in with drama queen-esque phone calls. Are you kidding me? Your 50, and you've been divorced for 10+ years now. Get over it.

Anyway, as promised, my college football preview:

Conference Winners:
ACC Atlantic: Clemson
ACC Coastal: Miami
ACC Championship Winner: Clemson

Big12 North: Missouri
Big12 South: Texas
Big12 Championship Winner: Texas

Big East: West Virginia

Big10: Ohio State*

Conference USA East: Southern Miss
Conference USA West: Tulsa
Conference USA Championship Winner: Southern Miss

MAC East: Miami
MAC West: Central Michigan
MAC Championship Winner: Central Michigan

Mountain West: TCU

Pac10: USC

SEC East: Florida
SEC West: Arkansas
SEC Championship Winner: Arkansas

Sunbelt: Troy

WAC: Hawaii

BCS Bowls:
Rose: Ohio State* defeats Cal
Sugar: Arkansas defeats Clemson
Orange: Michigan defeats Florida
Fiesta: Texas defeats Hawaii

BCS Championship: USC defeats West Virginia

* Yes, I am an Ohio State grad. Yes, I am also aware that most sports magazines have picked us to finish 2nd or 3rd in the Big10 (I've not seen one pick the Bucks to win it). However, this is not a homer pick. We are ranked 10th in the nation (Coaches Poll), and we have an absolute cupcake schedule until week 9 in Happy Valley. We also get Wisconsin at home. And, Jim Tressel does, in fact, own Lllloyd Carr. Besides, its not like I picked OSU to go all the way. We will probably lose one of our three toughest games.

Anyway, there it is. Now scamper along kiddies.

Instant Karma!

Karma Police, arrest this man.

I went for my tri/quad-weekly two mile run this morning. Just before it was almost over I almost got hit by a car turning left. I was not pleased. I was still a little angry about it when my first class started today, and unnecessarily so -- it wasn't that close, it wasn't that big of a deal, and it was an accident.
Through several random events -- including: my last name being near the top alphabetically, my professor missing a few names, and my infamous bad luck -- I was selected to give the first presentation in one of my masters-only classes. My first class and I get picked to give a 30 minute presentation 6 days later. Sweet. At least I've already picked my topic and made some headway tonight. Still, looks like I got what was coming to me.

On an unrelated note, this is one of the funniest things I've ever read: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,293268,00.html

You may notice that that is a foxnews story. Yep, I'm a right-winger.

College Football kicks off in just 15 days. Some time in the next 10 days you will see Bob's college football preview. Why? Because it's my blog and I can, so step off.

Until we meet again...

The Song Remains The Same

Another school, another orientation.

More rah-rah bullshit than any normal person can stand. Listen, I've already chosen the school. Stop telling me how much fun I'm going to have, how good your school is, and how good looking the girls are. What's that? There wasn't anything said about how good the girls look? Hmm... that must have been my inner monologue...

For the past two days I've sat in an auditorium and heard all the same speeches while having information (that was probably important) go in one ear and out the other because I was too bored to pay attention. But hey, at least they pulled out all the stops -- we had turkey sandwiches for lunch yesterday, and pizza today. I must've hit the big time. It feels like I'm at a summer camp or something. Of course, all that begins to change tomorrow.

Classes start tomorrow. And that means work starts tomorrow. I still don't have even a single book, or for that matter my loan money with which to buy books. I did sign out 44,850 dollars today though. Sweet! As long as I don't live long enough to pay it back I've got it made in the shade. Unfortunately doctors have pretty long life expectancies. Short end of the stick again I guess.

Sunday morning I went to the beach and watched the sun rise on the ocean. It was pretty awesome. I was all by myself until a group of (I'm assuming) Southern Baptists came by to baptize a few people. That was pretty cool too. It made me realize I'd really like to have a house on the beach when I retire. Why am I thinking about retirement? That seems like its millions of miles away. I'm 22. I've got 9 years of total bullshi... ahem... education in front of me. Then I'll be 31 ,which also seems like its impossible at this point in my life. Me? In my 30s? Never happen... After residency I have 25-35 years of what will hopefully be meaningful and rewarding work before retirement. A house on the beach? That's a lifetime away.
Writing this made me think about Real Estate in general. Is there Fake Estate? What about Surreal Estate -- is that like Salvador Dali's house?

We're not in Kansas anymore...

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking why would you, you conservative values midwestern kid go to medical school on the East Coast? Furthermore, what's with this "you're not really a medical student thing." The answer is simple... okay... I lied, the answer is kind of complicated. Try and hold on.
I just graduated from Ohio State University. I've been pretty sure I wanted to go to medical school since I was 16. I'm not entirely sure why -- that's probably going to bite me in the ass when I interview. I know it has something to do with me knowing that people not in pain > people in pain, and people alive > people dead. Still, putting into words why I want to practice medicine isn't easy for me. In fact, I have a lot of trouble expressing most of my emotions, which is probably why I haven't had a date in 3 years. But I digress.
Anyway here I am at Ohio State, wanting to go to medical school. But my grades, while decent, were not exactly medical school quality. Furthermore, taking the last ever paper-and-pencil MCAT provided me with a 29 (the average MCAT score of MD students is somewhere around 30.5) despite scoring as high as a 32 on practice tests (yes, those 3 points make a big difference) ... darn you Kaplan and your overly simplistic verbal reasoning sections.
So I was kind of behind the eight ball when I applied to 6 MD schools and 2 DO schools for August 2007 matriculation. Now, if it weren't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all. So I got shot down at all 8 schools -- I didn't even get one lousy interview invite. So what was I to do. Well, the ever helpful, and ever annoying Student Doctor Network was able to provide some information on an underused resource: Special Master's Degree Programs. Here's the deal - you take most, usually not all, of the Med1 curriculum, get graded alongside the MD students, receive a master's degree after only one year, and then you re-apply. Success rates (matriculation rates) vary widely depending on the school. I chose this school because it had the highest success rate. But this came with something of a caveat: while upwards 0f 90% of the masters graduates from my school do get into MD programs the same year they graduate -- nearly all of them are getting in at this school. Since I cared much more about getting into an MD program than where it was, I didn't mind. I applied, was admitted and enrolled in only a few weeks.
I know as long as I work as hard as I should, I'll be part of the MD class of 2012. Still, being so far away from everyone I know isn't easy. Especially on days like today. I needed a haircut. I only knew of one barbershop in the nearby area (I'm sure there are several others... but as of now I don't know where they are). Anywho, I walk in -- and immediately notice that -- well... I am not like anyone else in the barbershop.
Now, don't get me wrong -- I'm all about diversity of people -- but this wasn't diversity. This was me -- and everyone else. I'm pretty sure I got some dirty looks and some snickers from some of the customers. Oh well. I tried to casually leave, saying that it looked liked they were busy and I'd be back later. One of the barbers told me I'd be next if I just waited 2 more minutes. So I stayed, and got my hair cut. It was still pretty awkward, but maybe now I have some idea of what other people go through on a daily basis.

Start Me Up

Press Conference du Bob.
At 5:45 p.m. today we received word that I'll be keeping a blog. I'm keeping it as much for myself as anyone else. I want to try to chronicle as much of my experience as I can.
I see there's a question...
Q. What experience?
A. Well in only 3 days I'll be starting medical school. Well, not really -- but more on that later. Please hold all remaining questions until the end.

My name is Bob, and I have just moved to an East Coast city somewhere in the mid-Atlantic region. I moved here from the midwest, where I have grown up all my life. I came here to go to my new school, and hopefully go forward on the path of doctordom.

Alright... questions? (Many hands go up)

Ok... any questions that don't have to do with why I look so goofy? (1/2 of all hands go down)

Any questions that don't have to do with why my blog isn't entertaining? (Remaining hands go down.)

Alright then.